It is important to create safe and non-judgmental spaces for youth to talk about sex, sharing intimate images, and relationships with adults! Use these tips and tricks to help youth feel comfortable, open, and safe to disclose any risks or problems they may be experiencing

Be non-judgmental!

 

As adults, it can sometimes be hard for us to understand youth culture, norms and behaviours. It can also be easy for us to judge them as “good” or “bad” in comparison to when we, ourselves, were youth. Youth today are living in completely different social and environmental contexts than even just 10 years ago! As safe and trusted adults in their lives we must be open-minded and empathetic to the experiences and challenges of youth in the 2020’s.

If youth feel like we are judging the context and experiences of their lives, they will not feel safe to open up and talk to us when they are in trouble, or need guidance.

Being non-judgmental means:

  • We have self-awareness about our own biases and thoughts

  • We do not judge others as “good” or “bad”

  • We do not blame or belittle people for their choices

  • We do not treat people as “worthy” or “unworthy” of support

  • We practice empathy and compassion

Let youth teach you!

 

Youth are the true experts in their own lives, and they have a lot more knowledge and wisdom than we sometimes give them credit for - especially when it comes to technology!

If there is something happening that you don’t understand, approach the situation with curiosity and allow the youth to teach you!

There is nothing more empowering than feeling like an “expert” and like you have something to offer. Encourage youth to identify their skills and strengths and provide opportunities for them to share that with you and their peers.

Ask the right questions!

 

Sometimes it can be hard getting youth to open up. Using Motivational Interviewing Techniques can be a way to both find out what is going on in youth’s lives and also be directive to help them problem solve!

There are lots of different options for in-depth Motivational Interviewing training in the community, but remembering this simple OARS acronym can assist in helping youth get to the heart of the matter.

  • Open-Ended Questions - these are questions that can’t be answered with a yes or a no. For example, instead of asking “Is everything OK?” ask “What’s been going on?” This will empower the youth to share the information that is most relevant to them and can be the starting point for a conversation

  • Affirmations - these are statements or gestures that recognize youth's strengths and reinforce positive behaviours. Examples of an affirming statements are “It took a lot of courage to talk to me about this today” or “You handled yourself really well in that situation”

  • Reflective Listening - this is a way to let the youth know you are really listening to them with intention and presence. It can also assist in preventing communication breakdown. Reflective listening includes: repeating, rephrasing, and paraphrasing what has been said “It sounds like you are saying…”; and reflection of the youth’s feelings by emphasizing the emotional aspects of what they have said “It sounds like this situation is making you (sad, angry, upset, etc.)

  • Summarize - Summarizing can be a way to ensure you have heard and interpreted what has been said accurately. Start with a statement that indicates you are summarizing “Here’s what I hear you saying, let me know if I got this right”. Use summarizing to focus on change talk - if they recognize a problem, show concern about a situation, express an intent to change, or express optimism for resolution “I hear you saying you want to go back to school to complete your education, but that there are other things going on in your life that might make that hard to do.” Finally, allow the youth the opportunity to contribute anything else “Did I miss anything?” “Did I get that right?”

Don’t panic!

 

As a safe and trusted adult in a youth’s life, it can be scary if we think that something bad is happening to them. Youth don’t often understand the risks they are taking, especially when it comes to commercial sexual exploitation!

If youth are coming to us for help, it is not going to go over well if we over-react or dramatize the situation by saying things like “I can’t believe this is happening to you!” or “We have to call the police right away!”

This means not only saying the right things, but also being mindful of our body language while we are talking to them. Youth are very intuitive and can pick up on our discomfort very easily.

By staying calm and keeping our cool, youth will be able to trust that we will be true allies in helping them problem solve.